BDAYBOY!!!

I haven't blogged for quite some time. However, now I am blogging for the sake of someone dear, whom I realised I have not really blogged about at all. It's none other than dodohead, Tian'en!!! It's his 20th birthday, so I wanna make it special, because I don't know how many of his birthdays I can truly celebrate with exclusive rights. In fact, I have never celebrated with him on the actual day itself since we knew each other!

Tian'en at the beach looking cool without trying to

It's been 4 yrs since we first met. It's been 4 yrs since we sat in that GP class, debating about something vaguely philosophical. He was so humourous and talkative; it's a pity some people never got to see that side of him. I 'm glad I did. Somehow, we became good friends but remained so (Dammit!).

Our very first photo together

It was only at the end of J2 that we somehow started talking again. I will never know what you went through in those 2 yrs....

On a bus to sentosa for a treat underwater;)

When he (finally) told me that he like me, I have to admit that I floated around on a cloud that day^_^ We had4 months only having his NS obligations in the way of spending more time together. After April though, I received news that I got my scholarship and we realised that we didn't have much time together. The news didn't really sink in though, until July/Aug when he had his block leave. Before that, we never really spent so much time together. Seeing each other day after day reminded us of what would be missing from our lives soon after.

In the bus on the first/second day when I returned in summer

I must say that I have really been blessed. Right before me leaving for London, Tian'en had block leave before leaving for Taiwan himself. So we spent most of his block leave prepping ourselves for the imminent separation. I had the adrenaline of going to London to shadow any pain from leaving Tian'en behind. If I had any hint of what I would be expriencing over in London, perhaps I might have felt differently... But I was still naive then... Luckily for Tian'en, he had his Taiwan trip to distract him too. We each had our own problems with the relationship but somehow we held strong till I returned for his commissioning ball

Our farewell dinner at Giraffe before I leave for the 1st yr

It has been a year and 1/3 since I left Singapore for my studies. The true test to our relationship has not passed yet though. NS has always been quoted as the real test and we made it through. However, the true test would be when he enters uni, after which would be me doing my PhD. What I have learnt though, is not to predict the number of chicks there would be just by the number of eggs coz an eleplant might step on them:( A step at a time... A step at a time...

HOTTIE^_^ That's wat makes a good blog rite? Hot guys everywhere!!!

This entry is dedicated to Tian'en, since it is his birthday. If you are not Tian'en, thanks for taking interest in reading up on us (you voyeur!!!). Part of the reason I did write on us is to discourage any long distance relationship. It's torturous and if I ever were given a chance again, I don't know whether I would take the plunge.

I love this pic coz it's so playful^^

Then again, it is this torture that made our love story so amazing. We can only live life once, yet we willingly give up such an important part of our life to wait endlessly for each other. Living it sure ain't as romantic as it's written down. How we r gonna make it through is anybody's guess... But having you in my life definitely beats never having you at all...

Thanks for everything, Tian'en.

Happy 20th Birthday

Underground Blues...

It's been a long week. Wednesday was an adveture on the underground system:( I was supposed to reach Hammersmith hospital at 10am. I decided to leave at 9, since it should take about 45min to get to the hospital from home.


I ended up waiting at earl's court (the nearest station to my house) for 30 min, because none of the trains go to the interchange. F***. I shud have known by then sth was very very wrong. But one finally came, and I took it. Alas! It stopped service at the next stop. F***. So I crossed the platform to take the next train to the interchange. After 5 min, there was an annoncement that says that the platform was not in use anymore due to some problems. F***. The only option was to take a train back to earl's court. So I went to the platform which serves the train back, only to have them say that the train I want is arriving in a separate platform. F***. So back to Earl's Court I go, at 10am! F***. After that, I have to take a roundabout route which takes twice the time needed. F***. By the time I reached the hospital, I missed my appointment already. F***.


Yep... HORRIBLE!!!!!

Update!!!!!!!

Been some time since I blogged.



Played in Nottingham's Games yesterday, for the Imperial Singsoc floorball team. We got Gold, a totally unexpected thing, considering how many inexperienced players we had and our badly we played the training before. The trip took 3 hours to go and another 3 to return. Not something to attempt yearly unless there's a good incentive to.


Congrats to ChongW who got 2nd=) Congrats to the soccer team, who got 3rd outta 16. That is a bl**dy good accomplishment:D Congrats to frisbee, who managed 3rd despite only having 1 proper training b4 actual comp.


Of course, congrats to the other floorball team, who got 3rd. Most unfortunate thing which should have never happened. Nevertheless, many of them on that team gave me lotsa encouragement and advice from the sidelines, without which I may be a headless chicken running around. ("Pressure him, Cheryl!"[Gal's voice, therefore Chinlin or Hanyan?] "Stay, Cheryl, stay!" "U r playing well now, just keep it gng!" [might have been Hocks but din see]).


And, yep, thanks to my team mates. Jau, the superhero/ leader/ striker/ strategist of the match. Zhong Jie, the team player. Always playing beautiful floorball. ALWAYS. Guang Fan and Yoke, the unbreakable defence duo. Gave me a few scares when they left the goal wide open. But Yoke's assurance of their partnership was real: no goals were conceded without a goalie. Then there's Abiel who did a last minute hat trick to win us in the finals. Joan, who's always smiling, snatched a few balls to pass. She outdid herself yesterday:) Zheng Yuan, my housemate!!! Proud of him. Scored the opening goal in the finals! Morale booster which we thrived on for the rest of the match. It was what he wanted, and he did it! WOOOHOO!!


Really enjoyed those floorball trainings. It was rather fun playing for leisure rather than having a structured traning session. It keeps the passion burning. Might go back when I have the time.


I've once again smartly overpacked my schedule with too many things. I am gonna start a research stint with this lab that's 1hour away from sch and home. It's an oncology lab, which is what I wanna do in the future. But it's gonna be taxing, given the travel time and the fact that it will take place on all my free afternoons. So from now on, I will be away from morning to evening. It is only now that I realised how hard it is gonna be. Firstly, I will have less 12 hours of study time a week. Secondly, I wun be able to tok to TE anymore in the afternoons, coz I will either be travelling or be in the lab. Next, I didn't take into account that I'd be having french at lunch time. So I will be rushing straight from French for lab without any lunch. Lastly, gym would have to be saved for breaks between lessons. Sounds hectic. And I gotta aim for 1st class on top of these. I can see all future poker nights, floorball sessions, salsa sessions, shopping trips, musicals etc fly out of the window:(


Having said that, I am gonna try catch linkin park in London:) Not sure if it will happen, but hopefully yes!!! :D:D:D

Where have real rugby gone?

I have been told that people have stopped reading my blog coz it's not updated regularly... Wat's new man....



Anyway, this gotta be a bad night. I am refering to the Rugby WC of course. How could that not be a try:( Things might have turned out differently if England had gotten that try. Argh! To be honest, I did think that England played rather well. It was just the poor line outs and giving away of penalties that did them in.



I was quite disappointed by the game actually. Since when has a good game of rough rugby turned into a footballer's game? Half the time, the ball was being kicked btwn the two sides. Good game play, if it had worked. Unfortunately for England, the balls nearly always found itself into the SA winger's hands, who would then kick it back. Rubbishly, the whole game was won on penalty kicks (proving my point that it's a kicking game now). No legitimate tries in a World Cup final??? Given the fact that none of the penalties were missed (if I remembered correctly), the game was more on who were better at following instructions. Bah... Well, this is just from the view of a girl anyway.



We had poker after that. Nearly won the game but lost narrowly at the end, thanks to Lip'en and bad luck. The bad thing about playing poker is the snacking that nearly always happens. Snacked my way through the World cup and poker. To think that I gave half my Wagamama dinner away coz I couldn't finish:S

Renaissance

Went to Butter Factory for the annual UK Bound clubbing event. Muz say that after everyth I heard about last year and Butter Factory, this year's event did turn out much better than expected. Probably the smaller dance floor made the atmosphere. Last year's was apparently too sparse. Then again, I have always believed the people makes the atmosphere, not the other way round. Can't say much, since I didn't go last year.



Speaking of the atmosphere, the house DJ did a good job. There were some songs which were slower in beats, which was anti-climax. Can still dance to these songs but the mood can't help being dampened a little. However, the repertoire was mainly great, making the boring dancefloor a small detail. I dun mean the people, I mean the dance FLOOR. No spunky floor lights, no fancy tiles, just a space coloured in blue to look like a swimming pool. They even have an orange tyre float to decorate. I must admit I don't understand why they chose that theme. If they are trying to play with the words "dance pool", it fails pathetically.



Yep, if one thing I figured out last night, it is potential clubbing partners. My future housemate and gf are good examples. Didn't know that they can go high clubbing too! In fact, many of them impressed me. William, my hapless target right from beginning, who also had the luck to make me fall down on stage. Cheng Ern, whose tie is a good accessory to play with. Warning: Never wear a tie around me unless u r up for it! Lip'en, who told me that he doesn't club much but phew! Ended up dancing like a SINGLE (inside joke) ;) Borris, who abandoned me to go toilet when I invited him to dance with me! Snort! The funniest gotta be XF and TJ. Everywhere XF goes, TJ is watching her like a guard dog. No dancing with guys, no dancing with girls, no dunno wat dunno wat... Hehehe... Kidding lah, TJ! But it is indeed true in my case that I would not club with my boyfriend. More restrained and have to entertain him, segregating ourselves from the rest. Then again, my BF doesn't club and he himself agree that couples shouldn't club together. Thank goodness for that!


The freshers were also a funky bunch. Should see some of them. Started with their arms crossed (yes, talking about Annabelle), but had their booties shaking by the end of the night:D Of course, there were those whom we can tell were no stranger to the clubbing scene.


And yesh!! Much thanks to Borris, who treated me to a drink for opening the dancefloor. Actually, it's me thickskin who asked him to treat:D Slightly tight on budget at the moment... Left with $52 in my account:(



oHOHOHOHHH!!! Ha... Some of them asked me for the secret of long lasting stamina... I wanted to say this but couldn't form the words out at 3am in the morning. The secret is FLATS!!! I wanna specially say this because I actually went to the extent of buying the flats 8h before the party. I refuse to club in heels, which are the only shoes I have in Sg suitable for the dress code. I'm trying to convince girls around me that clubbing in heels is BAD for ur feet and back. I had backache this morning although I wore flats. Ican only wonder what wearing heels would be like. So, join the "FLATS ONLY" club, girls and some of u guys out there!!!


Yepz... Overall, the party was good, the people even more so:D

Cable Ski!

Went cable skiing in Batam yday. Quite fun, although it didn't start off that way. The first round I went on kneeboarding, and sigh!!! Dropped off at a strategic position whereby the motorcycle helpers were too lazy to pick me up, yet it is tiring to lug the board back to the starting point. By the time I got back to the starting point, I was too tired to try again! Have to rest for half an hour b4 my 2nd try. Gosh, at that time, I thought I would probably end up doing 1 per half hour, which ain't really an enticing thought. Thankfully, enough tries tell me that if I am gonna fall, either fall !@#^ far, so that someone can pick me up, or just drop near the starting-cum-ending point.




It is a small Singapore, I realised yday. YJ's friend is Aris' neighbour and my schoolmate (not a coincidence really, since I am in the same sch as YJ). Some of them met this friend at the cable ski resort, who knew them separately from various activities. I met my Primary sch classmate, whom I have not met in ages.



Phew...

Dreams

Read Wan Xuan's blog on how excited she was about first day of med sch. Always knew how much she wanted to study med and what a long way she has gone before finally reaching her dreams.



I realised that I didn't feel the same euphoria when I achieved my dream. I kept putting off the celebration, coz I was afraid it wouldn't happen. Then when I finally went off to London, I wasn't excited at all. In fact, I ended up feelin lost, when the big dream/ goal of my life has been fulfilled.



When I read WX's blog, I suddenly felt happy for her. And felt it pity that I didn't cherish the chance to feel the same as her when I could. Kinda strange to regret not feeling excited, but these chances don't come often in a lifetime.



So from now on, I shall feel happy anytime I can, and cherish all happiness I have:D

How to make MY day

Firstly, call me to tell me that you are coming over to my workplace. Then call me again to tell me that you can't make it. Then refuse to come meet me at the busstop near my place, so that the bad mood I have becomes worse. After I miss the bus, put up with my blasting and insist on meeting me even though I say I dun wanna meet anymore.











After the boring bus ride, sms me to inform you when I reach. Hide behind a pillar and grab me from behind. Best of all, hold......






THIS!!!!

PRETTY!!!

Hehhehe... After that, when my mood has gone up into the clouds, go eat at where I wanna eat.

Simple.

Started thinking about the future mice problem in my future house in the near future.



Realised that my fear lies not in finding mice mating among my clothes. (I've been assured that mice semen cannot impregnate human females.)



Nor was the fear in having to dodge mice scuttling around.



Or the embarrassment of me screamin upon seeing them.



No. The true fear lies in having to see them getting killed. Worse still, killing them. They might be unwanted, but to take their little lives away seem too cruel. I only hope that my future housemates think the same.

Emo bitch

Can't sleep. Ate too much ice cream and waffles I think. GELARE TUESDAY:)



Also, read this touching fictional story of some guy who had brain cancer. 30 min b4 the surgery (which had a high risk), the girlfriend and him were counting down and dreading the imminent surgery. Somehow, it struck a cord with me, because it seemed parallel with the 30mins b4 I enter the departure hall, leaving all my close ones behind. I dread the coming 30 mins in 2 mth's time, when I have to leave him again. Even now, at night, I dun like to sleep, even though I am very tired, because once I close my eyes, it's one day gone. Time passes so fast.



Emotional wreck, that's wat I am.



Sometimes, I wish that I can have both overseas studies and my bf by my side. I know what the obvious choice would be now but it's way too late for regrets. There'd be another crossroad in 2years' time. I hope I would make a wise decision.


On a happier note, I went out with my JC classmates on sun! Went to mind's cafe. Had fun!! Everyone's changed, but it's good to know that we are still comfortable with each other. Even won a $10 discount! My lucky hands!!!!!


Met up with Mich today, hence the ice cream and waffles. Phew!!!




I think I should stop reading and watching heart wrenching stories before I become really an emo bitch.

Random!

Have any of you noticed that Singaporean females are becoming smaller and smaller and smaller... It's a striking difference which I noticed since I came back. Scary, coz it's not just their waist size, but also their breasts and their height. Self- inflicted malnorishment. Tsk tsk.



Still haven't met up with most people. Time's running out:( But so much to do!

Liveearth!

Whoever said that “Live Earth” was not doing any help?


Personally, I think that it served its aim. Yes, I do agree with the critics that music will not move the big MNCs into green gear. But for the everyday you and me, I think that it has served its purpose to remind us not to take earth for granted.


More often than not, we tend to give up our go green efforts after a few weeks. We need campaigns etc to remind us. Hopefully, we will change. The MNCs may always be selfish but going green starts with US (ironically abbreviation for a certain most ungreen country).


After this live earth weekend, and after watching “The Core” (little cheesy but cool concept), I have finally come to realise what I really want to do. Get ready to laugh, coz I am gonna use the most cheesy line ever. “I want to make this earth a better place to live in”.


Initially, I had big immediate plans of making big companies recycle their paper, staples etc (You have absolutely no idea how much paper and staple bullets I collected over the months I worked in Comfort. Unfortunately, as I couldn’t find a paper shredder, I had to throw the paper away. But at least I had an idea of the amount of wastage each office worker incurs every month.). I also had plans of helping drugs get transported across oceans to their intended destination. Apparently, the reason most third world countries have no access to cheap drugs is because there is no transport. Most drug companies are actually willing to absorb the cost of the drugs. What a waste, I say!


However, when my mum came home, it dawned on me that before I fly away on that little cloud of mine (figuratively and literally), the best way to make the earth a better place is none other than my home. Making the people around me happy would probably be the biggest contribution I can make this lifetime.


Of course, I still wanna help beyond this little world of mine. But before that, I gotta make sure that I help my mum do the laundry, clean the house and make her happy. Only with those done, can I truly make the world a better place for someone else.

Home bound

Home home home! Pack pack pack! Party party party!



Phew... It ain't a joke when one ends her exams 2 days b4 she flies home. Went shopping yesterday. Really good shopping:) Bought mostly everyth I wanted to buy. Packed my room when I came home last night.



Today, I have been packing since I woke up. Strangely enough, while it takes forever to make me wake up over the revision period, I woke up after 6h of sleep only today. Anyway, I actually did laundry. It's a BIG accomplishment! My roommate thinks tt I am lazy coz I REFUSE to do laundry until I have to (ie, till I take out my last pair of undies from my wardrobe). HEHHEH!! To give me some credit, the laundry room is 4 floors down. So far away:(



Yep, will be going for BMS picnic later. Hope it will be good:) After tt, I will pack my luggage. Then I will be going clubbing. Doing an all nighter, until prob 6am. Come home, grab my boxes to shift over to Lipen's place. Sotring my stuff over summer with him. Then after tt, heading to the airport straight:D Hopefully, I will be so shagged by then that I will sleep all the way to Singapore. There's nth I hate more than to be trapped on the plane when I just want to reach home asap. When I went back in dec, the trip was very good, coz the only reason I woke up was coz I was too thirsty. Even then, I only rmb vaguely waking up to drink some water. Hopefully, this will happen again.



Will be looking fwd to seeing my family again at the airport. Bought lotsa stuff for them:D



Also looking fwd to seeing TE at night. Although I really really want to see him at the airport, he's been sleeping so little this week, so I tot it best tt he sleeps in on sunday. Just hoping tt we'll be able to see each other at night. Hopefully, things will turn out fine. *fingers cross*


And yes, all my friends. Classmates, touch rugby and all random friends! I AM GOING HOME!

What have I done...

Maybe it's exam stress. Maybe it's the constant hard work tt has been going on for the past 3 months. Maybe it's coz it's the time of the month again. Maybe it's the excitement and fear of disappoinment about going home. Maybe I am just such an idiot.



How would I know which of the above is true when they all happen at the same time! I just wish that I had met WR earlier. Seeing whatever she had to give me would have given me so much faith and strength to go on. But I have to see her 2 hours after I'd done my foolish deed.



But I dun care anymore.



Sigh... Actually, I dun care abt anything anymore. I dun even care abt the paper tmr. I have more than half of my syllabus not done, but I dun care anymore. Can't study, can't think properly, can't be bothered:( SIGH! I might actually fail this paper but I dun care anymore!



It just takes too much brain power to be understanding. I have reached my limits. I need some time to recharge before I can take up the challenge again. But I WILL take up the challenge again.




If some of u dun understand this blog entry, dun worry. I am just being a child!

The becoming of the alcoholic

Can I say sth... Despite all harm alcohol does, it is the remedy to insomnia. Blah blah abt how alcohol doesn't work blah blah tt I will wake up feeling worse blah blah.... Desperate times call for desperate measures...


Which reminds me that my bottle of Bailey's finishing. Gotta top up by stealing from others. Less than 2 weeks left, so it wun be worthed it buying more.



Finished my first paper an hour ago! YESH!!!!!! Could be worse... therefore, cheerios to alcohol!

Last stretch till the end!

Less than 2 weeks now to end of exams... Looking forward to the end but the dread the emminent exams:(



Boo! I spent 4 pounds on fruits for lunch today. FOUR pounds. And TWO pounds went to just a small box of watermelon. The box is about 8cm x 8cm x3cm big. But the craving is there and the water melon was sweet. So I dun really feel the pinch of the money YET. I might when I see the dwindling bank account. The other two pounds went to cherries. Yummy! Half Price! Heheheee... Well, I can't bring my money to my grave but I can bring my body along, so might as well feed my body well...

Sleepless night

I went to bed 40 min ago but I just couldn’t sleep without getting all these emotions outta my system.



I was doing on anorexia and decided to yahoo (I dun google, I yahoo) “anorexia”. Most stuff were fine, even the pictures, since most of the clinically shocking pictures are not available to the general public. However, what sets me back was what I read on the yahoo forum. Basically, this girl asked if anyone has anorexia and asked for advice. Presumably, she probably had insight on it and wanted support. The answer she chose to be the best, however, shocked me. Basically, the person who replied admitted to having anorexia too, and felt that it was not wrong. She feels good about herself and practically advocates it. In fact, there are more posts which encouraged her to continue. This is the link...


http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060706201301AAZjcOc


I am scared of becoming anorexic, not because I can die from it (looking my worse, since I will be sticking out in bones) but because of how pathetic I will be. It is no different from saying that my confidence come from how thin I am and how thin I am only. It is just so easy to desire to be thin by an easy way. Sometimes, I do wish for the discipline to reduce food intake or abstain from rubbish food (and even for certain normal food which I would deem too unhealthy). Of course, wish is a wish; most wishes remain a wish. But today, I realized how scarily close I am/was to having eating disorders. If I do actually have the discipline, it would just be too addictive to continue eating “healthily” to stop. It would be good to eat healthily, but preventing image from becoming my life focus would be hardL



Scared as I am, anorexia was not the issue which kept me awake. It was what my roommate sent me. She gave me a link to a site which is pro legal abortion. It showed cases of women self- aborting gone wrong. Here’s the link:


http://www.lifeandlibertyforwomen.org/abortion_pictorial.html


I am not going to write a whole GP essay on abortions etc, since it is just too easy to write on this. To talk about pro- life pro- choice pro euthanasia blah blah… We have all gone through writing about them, but really, most of the words go through our reasoning head rather than our emotional brain, since we were trained to be subjective. I feel so superficial, worrying about my exams when there are so many more things out there that people have to worry about. I can’t stop images of starving children in Africa, of homeless people, of sick lonely elderly, of all other images from creeping into my mind. I think of lying on the ground, wondering when my next bottle of milk will come. I imagine living today just so that I can live tomorrow. What is my goal in life if I am born to a life of fighting for survival everyday? For all 40 years of my life… Day after day… Worrying about just food water and shelter…


I feel so small and helpless against these problems. I may not be rich, but even sleeping in a bed makes me feel guilty and blessed. What if I am born into real poverty?


I have felt these feelings before, but they disappeared when I got caught up with my own personal life. But time and again, they haunt me down. I would say that this desire to rectify things gives me the determination to study and to pursue the career route I am taking now. A lot of times when I feel despaired in studies and goalless in life, the nightmares of other people’s desperation push me on, because the only way I can help them is through education. Moreover, feeling their desperation reminds me that I don’t want to feel desperate; so I will study just so that I will not feel desperate over my results. But the main pushing factor remains that what I can achieve as an individual will not be as big as what I can achieve as an individual with strong science backing.



Ultimately, I don’t want to lead my life as if all the problems don’t exist, because I know that on the day when death is upon me, I will look back with regrets. I am paranoid about death, and the only way I comfort myself is to lead a meaningful life. I have looked back on my 2 years, and while I thought that it was the life I wanted at the time I lived it, I realize now that I had not spent my time wisely at all. There were so many superficial decisions I made which I know now are made coz they make me look good, rather than make me feel good.



Food for Thought:
If I die tomorrow (touch wood!), would I look back with regrets?

:S

Ok, I have just planned my time table. Gonna try to cram and force my limits thru these 2 weeks, so tt next 2 weeks will be less stressful. Dun wanna break down rite b4 my exams. Phew! So I think I will be in recluse for 5 weeks. Scary~!!!!! This will be a breakthrough in my life if I actually make it through.



On another note, I have made a difficult decision, which I really hope is right. And gosh, do I need all the mental strength oand will power I can muster to stick to the decision. The exams will prime me for the upcoming challenge.



I AM GOING HOME IN 1MONTH AND 1WEEK'S TIME!!!!

FOOD:(

Curry puff... Hokkien Mee... I WANT TO EAT THEM NOW!!! Sudden craving! No wonder they can sell Chinese food at extorbitant prices... People will pay!!! BUT I CAN'T EVEN FIND THEM HERE!!!!



Anyway, it is quite funny that my mum shud ask if my future household would be all girls or would have some guys. Her words: "It'd be quite useful to have one or two guys around, you know." Eh, mum, I am living with 3 other guys...



Just did TE's sis' friend test. U know, the sort whereby u answer questions based on how much you know the person. I dun really know his sis really well. But I still did it anyway, and had a slight dilemma. Is the test testing what I think she is like, and so I should only place answers which compliment (honest compliments k!) her, or should I think like wat she might be thinking of and select the spastic answers? It is a tough one to crack, when u r dealing with ur bf's sis.... Grr.... BUT can I add in tt I am actually the top scorer for her test at the moment???!?!?!??

Dreams r best remain dreams

Last nite, I dreamt that RG n SJI combined into one school... Br... And the best comment I could come up with in the dream was: "So RG gals will see more SJI guys in school now la..." Bah!



Anyway, JOANNE YE!! U appeared in my dream!! Weird!!!!!

Detached

Sigh! I know I am too detached from those back home when I didn't even know/ remember that it was Labour day today:( It's not that I don't bother, but these knowledge that we had always taken for granted become precious only after my access to them is restricted. Then again, I oughta read the news more!! But there are just some things one can't know unless one are together. I have no idea what my parents' schedules are anymore. Come summer, I might be caught in the worst situation at home alone, not expecting them to come back. In fact, when I graduated, perhaps moving out on my own is an option....


Study! Exams are 1.5 months away but everyone's panicking!!! Well, at least my coursemates are. Everyone's studying during lunchtime. It's scary, given how ppl in other courses are panicking only 1 mth b4 their exams. Urgh!!! I hate this!!! Can't finish! Played too much in first 2 terms!!!


Then again, once the exams are over, it would home sweet home:D



Sorry, din mean to put u in a spot today. I just need reassurance sometimes.

Acommodation 2007-08

WE HAVE FOUND A HOUSE TO LIVE IN NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!

Went house hunting today.Visited many houses. Signed the contract. Discussed within urselves over who pay wat. Had a taste of what it'd be like next yr discussing over finances. Not Good. Settled. Finally. Amicably. FINALLY!!!


:D:D:D

Nostalgia

It's scary. I forgot my age. I still tot tt I was 19. Last year, I tot I was still 18. It's scary how we are all struggling to come to terms with our age:s



I just went blog hopping. It's sad how people's lives move on and I feel so left out from their lives. Perhaps that's what blogs are for. Sometimes I get bored when people ramble on and on about their lives. But on days like this, I can read a few months' of my friend's lives and still wish that they update more often.


It's even sadder to see people update on their relationship while I know mine will be at a standstill for months to come. I am learning a lot though, on practising empathy and being understanding. I always thought that they were the same thing, but I realised that just because I know how he feels doesn't mean that I will accept his feelings. Sigh... I have to admit that those long talks with my roommate do help to relieve those frustrations. Everything just boils down to "Guys! They're all the same!";) What am I gonna do next year with only males in my household? I will miss u, ROOMMATE!!!

Finally updated!

A blog entry has been long overdue. So much has passed since. Major event (an annual event organized by Imperial Sing Soc), my bday, my trip to Spain and Portugal, and now, my near to end Easter holsL


I would say that my friends really made this year’s birthday a memorable one. I was quite depressed over the days leading up to my birthday because for the first time in my life, I was far away from family and close friends on my birthday. It might have something to do with the fact that I place a lot of importance on birthdays. I won’t say that I remember everyone’s birthdays, but if I do remember, I would do my best to make it a special day. So when it was my birthday, I felt rather lonely. I know I had friends here around me, but I just had this nostalgia.


So I was VERY surprised when my hall friends (Roomate, Anju and good friend Peter being the main organisors) surprised me in my room on my birthday. A&P had baked a cake earlier on in the day and even managed to get most of my close hall friends to turn up (well, they would be in the hall anyway, but it’s still good effort:P) Thank you, Anju for organizing and baking the cake, and for the hand cuffs! Thank you, Peter, for baking, despite having __ (fill in number) backload of problem sheets to finish. Thank you, Jules for the Imperial College red wine, although I lost it on the night itself. I bet some idiot cooked with it! Thank you, Diana, Aditya, Daniel, Martin, Valentina (& boyfriend?), Victoria and Coel. If I missed anyone out, I am sorry. Leave me a message to tell me!!


Before I could recover from being touched by my hallmates, I was blasted away with another surprise party by my Singaporean friends the next da. BIG thank you to Jin Yang and Gabriel. They managed to convince me that we were meeting for discussion on Spain trip. Sweet! Shireen even came all the way down from Cambridge. No words can do justice to the surprise I had that day. Thanks everyone! Other than San May, I hope everyone received a thank you sms from meJ (Oops, sorry San May, I typed your sms but I didn’t have your number.)


And my family sent me a birthday package!_! Thank you!


Yep, much thanks to Joanne Ye, Lishan, Yuxie, Michie, Thong, Jen Yuh and Aris (ha! Aris, I placed ur name last, since u felt sorry for giving belated wishes. Hopefully being "punished" for it now would make u feel better.) for your birthday wishes. Couldn’t have made a supposedly lonely birthday brighter.


Of course, how can I forget about my wonderful boyfriend. Thank you for your present (the earliest to arrive) and for calling me on the eve itself when you are busy:)


Yep, the last thing to note. It snowed on my birthday!!! It would have been nothing spectacular if my birthday is in winter. But this is London, the place which hardly snows, and it snowed in the midst of spring, when the birds are back!!! I may hate the snow, but it is still heartening to know that of all days and of all years, it snowed on 19th March 2007:D

Quelle irony!

My virus scan picked up an adware software. My virus scan directs me to its website for adware removal. My adware software picked up the redirectment by my virus scan. My adware software asks me if I am interested in buying virus scan softwares and adware removal software.

I love my Boyfriend!

Have I ever mentioned tt the only reason I keep boyfriends is for them to help me fix my blog lay out?

Home

The past 2 weeks have been a trial. I hardly felt homesick in my first term. But ever since I have been back from Singapore, I have been missing home.



Home. It sounds cliche but I really feel that home is where your family and friends are. If everyone who matters to me shift here with me, I wouldn't care where I am. I wouldn't be feeling what I am feeling now. I always appreciate my friends and cherish them. But I didn't know just how big a role my friends play in my world until I am away. So big a role that I wish I am not living through this lesson. I would rather not learn.



Home. That's where I know I have lived and made a difference. I know what is missing in my current life. I haven't made much difference to others, to my surroundings. Gab C. did say that I should have no doubt that I made a difference, no matter how small. But I am still not satisfied. I feel like I have not contributed back to the society. I don't useful at the moment, and that's what matters ultimately. I can do a lot of stuff, but it's the impact that matters. I need to reprioritise (how do u spell??) my values in life.



Yep! And it's time to start thinking of CNY. That would be a good turning point:)

Good Bye For Now

How sad this is… 2 entries ago, I was raving about how good it feels to be back. And now, it’s time to say good- bye. I didn’t feel this sad the first time I left Singapore, despite thinking that it was a 9month long trip at that time. This time round, I am clinging on to every minute before I leave, despite it being less than 7 more months before I return.



I had been warned against coming back for my first winter, since it breaks the momentum of getting used to being away from home. When I came back here, I thought how untrue those statements were. I thought that everyone should come back, because it would make you realise how much you love Singapore. Now that I am leaving, I finally understand what the seniors are talking about. Separating has never been harder. In the first separation, at least there is the adrenaline from going into the unknown to distract me. Now, the feelings of homesickness is finally hitting me full-on. WHEN I AM IN SINGAPORE!!



Don’t get me wrong. I don’t regret coming back. If there’s anything that I have accomplished, that is to reinforce my relationship with TE. I think this period of time has been the most intensive period of our relationship so far. I have never felt closer with TE and have never known him better. And this is what makes separation the hardest. How do females in the past, in the present, in the region, in the far west let their loved ones go off to war, never knowing when and whether they would return; when Me here can’t even let go for 7 months?



My new New Year Resolution: Live 2007 with strength and faith.