Freed!

Had dinner with the ruggers. Huimin made a memorial CD for each of us, which contains a ppt on us.



As I watch the ppt, I could not help but realise that I have been so caught up in my own problems that I have looked at my team mates through tinted glasses. I was burnt out by Feb last year and got stressed out over the injuries and insomnia. And throughout the entire March to June season, all I can think about is the end of it all. I’ve lived the 4 months shabbily, trying to accelerate my life through that difficult period which I have created in my mind.



And throughout those 4 months, the fatigue and problems bog me down such that I’ve associated most of team mates with the frustration. (Not to mention that my classmates bore most of the brunt, since they were the ones which I hung out with the most in NJ. I can still rmb the numerous times when I’ve snapped at the bio class ppl.)



I knew it from beginning that it was my perception that had to change but acknowledging the problem doesn’t mean solving the problem. It’s only now that I’ve truly seen through the barrier I’ve created and come to my senses.



In fact, I watched the ppt a second time, after this new found freedom (the word freedom is used here because I feel as if I’ve been liberated from network of negative feelings). The things I looked out for were different, the feelings evoked were different, the reaction was different.



Hmmm… I really wonder whether this entry makes sense. Nevertheless, I gotta thank you, Huimin for unwittingly helping me to come to this conclusion.