HYpocrite!!

We have heard of people being strong because they are strong. We have heard of people pretending to be strong when they are weak (and of course, that means that they are truly strong too). Hell, we have even heard of people being weak because they are truly weak. But today, I realised that there is a fourth category of people pretending to be weak when they are strong. And it's none other than yours truly.


No, don't get me wrong. I am not launching into some egoistical entry on how strong I am. It is something that everyone knows already. No, I am actually going into how stupid I have been for the past few weeks.


It all started two weeks ago, when I had this sudden desire to drink. I thought I was tired of pretending to be strong and just wanted to unwind. If I did truly enjoy that moment of folly, then perhaps I won't be blogging now. Instead, I just thought that was the silliest thing I did but I couldn't pinpoint why I felt that way. And still, I continued to be moody sometimes, attributing it to the need to let myself go sometimes. It is supposed to make myself feel happier, since if I stop pretending, I am being myself rite???


Unfortunately, letting myself go moody isn't MYSELF at all!!! Talking to people about how tired I am (when actually, it is not what I really feel but something which I force myself to feel) etc is not in my nature at all. Not to mention that I don't even feel these feelings till I tell myself to. In fact, talking about random stuff to random people actually made my day, rather than trying to analyse the (non-existent) complicating feelings I had. What an idiot I am!!! I am enjoying my life, yet I forced myself into a weakling I am not. Why, I don't know. Maybe I feel the need to emphasise that I have more emotions than what I actually show? Hmmm...


Nevertheless, I think I owe an apology to all whom I have interacted with in the past 2 weeks. You guys have been most patient!!!! HEHE!!!


Now that I have all my thoughts sorted out, perhaps it is time for me to start revision proper. So guys, I think I won't be around on FB, msn, blog or email for some time sooooon...









ya rite...





On a lighter note, I am going to watch the match between England and Barbarians after all. Was rather disappointed that we weren't going to watch it live, so I am really glad that Bingliang agreed so readily to my proposal of watching it in a pub:D ooooo hoooo!!!