Life has done it again. It has again played the trick of slamming a gigantic slab of excitement into my life after giving me an endless length of boring meaningless period.
Diving. The practical lessons were quite tedious but fun. At least they have driven the initial fears away. In fact, it was quite heartening to know that I did not panic when things did not really work out the right way. *Yep, my rugger frenz, I’ve actually stayed calm!* The diving test, which would be in Malaysia waters, will be held on Sat. It is most unfortunate that they have decided to forgo the hot water, clean toilets, hot bbq, and what’s not on the island resort for a live- on – board (ie a boat). Sigh… Let’s hope I will not get sea sick and vomit my meals out. And then grow thinner. And maybe I did make a mistake. It is better to live on board:)
A*
I’ve finally heard from them. But I read the email today and the briefing was yesterday. Tough Luck. But there’s gonna be OBS. If it’s anything like the one I had in Sec 3, then I guess I should be looking forward to it:-) Everything is rather rushed though, and with the thought that I have missed the briefing yesterday, I cannot thoroughly immerse in the excitement. Moreover, I don’t know anybody there (I think), so it’s gonna be a challenge. I wonder whether there’d be cookery classes in the pre departure prep… :P
Work
Wanted to end work on 21st June. Colleagues argued that I would be bored to death. Decided to take a one week break in june, then go back to work again. But with the new update of A* activities in June, not sure whether they’d allow me to take so much time off for them. May end up quitting earlier than planned, maybe 1st week of june. Unless they are generous enough to give me 2 weeks break.
TE
Social Night. 160 Characters. X- Men. Phew…
25 May 2006
18 May 2006
Fake It Like Jackson
I was in the bus the other day, and overheard:
“I tell you something, but you don’t go about telling people.”
“Ok…”
“The card was drawn by me. But we wanted the card to be a group present, so we didn’t mention that. But you don’t tell ****(whoever that ‘lucky’ card receiver is) ah.”
I don’t know about you, but I find that the need for humility has bred a society of hypocrites. We know there is a certain protocol to follow, but following it often undermines our efforts, so we try to cover up by a simple “Sh… It’s still a secret, so I am not announcing my ability.”
If you really want to let people acknowledge your work, JUST SAY IT. There is no need to hush the listener up, because you are worthed it!!!! Having said that, I do admit I am not one a humble person:P
However, if you do feel it inappropriate to let others know the greatness you’ve contributed to this world, then just !ZIP! Don’t go about acting all shy and humble by pretending to hush people up over what you have just said.
Clearly, I have chosen the label “proud” over “hypocritical”.
“I tell you something, but you don’t go about telling people.”
“Ok…”
“The card was drawn by me. But we wanted the card to be a group present, so we didn’t mention that. But you don’t tell ****(whoever that ‘lucky’ card receiver is) ah.”
I don’t know about you, but I find that the need for humility has bred a society of hypocrites. We know there is a certain protocol to follow, but following it often undermines our efforts, so we try to cover up by a simple “Sh… It’s still a secret, so I am not announcing my ability.”
If you really want to let people acknowledge your work, JUST SAY IT. There is no need to hush the listener up, because you are worthed it!!!! Having said that, I do admit I am not one a humble person:P
However, if you do feel it inappropriate to let others know the greatness you’ve contributed to this world, then just !ZIP! Don’t go about acting all shy and humble by pretending to hush people up over what you have just said.
Clearly, I have chosen the label “proud” over “hypocritical”.
Invigorated!
I took an impromptu leave today, having woken up with a blocked nose. It ain’t a valid reason normally, but in view of next week’s diving trip, I cannot afford to fall sick at this time.
And am I glad I did. Just lazing around the house helped lifted my spirits. I didn’t even realise how dreary I have become over the past few months till today. I feel invigorated.
Yes… You working adults out there… Stop being so money- faced and take that leave. I always believe in having some time for myself alone. To sort out thoughts and to reflect on my pathetic life. To live in my own fantasies. To feel what I want without any interruptions.
It isn’t hard to understand how new mothers can fall prey to post- natal depression with NO TIME at all to themselves. Heck with those traditional notions that mothers must devote their time to their children. It isn’t as if we children really appreciate it. Leave the wailing babies to the babysitter for once!
Hardly surprising why I cannot imagine myself ever wanting to have (ungrateful) children of my own.
And am I glad I did. Just lazing around the house helped lifted my spirits. I didn’t even realise how dreary I have become over the past few months till today. I feel invigorated.
Yes… You working adults out there… Stop being so money- faced and take that leave. I always believe in having some time for myself alone. To sort out thoughts and to reflect on my pathetic life. To live in my own fantasies. To feel what I want without any interruptions.
It isn’t hard to understand how new mothers can fall prey to post- natal depression with NO TIME at all to themselves. Heck with those traditional notions that mothers must devote their time to their children. It isn’t as if we children really appreciate it. Leave the wailing babies to the babysitter for once!
Hardly surprising why I cannot imagine myself ever wanting to have (ungrateful) children of my own.
10 May 2006
Full Circle
It’s scary how fate has it that the jigsaw puzzle pieces in life will fit in somehow…
I was scolded “dog blood dripping” by this driver over the phone 2 months back. It was the type of scolding which got one all frustrated, because there was nothing one could reply as there was no logic in his words. I felt like strangling someone after that.
However, I remembered this paragraph from a book TE gave me. It said not to sweat the small stuff, because it wasn’t worthed it, and how I don’t need to be the person to mete out the retribution.
So, the next day, someone from another department came down and looked for me. Apparently, they had returned call to the driver regarding the same issue and he had admitted being very harsh with me. The lady came down to asked me about the call and explained that the driver was just shocked over the money issues, thus the insolence. I didn’t think much about the whole incident and thought that was the end of the issue.
As you might have guessed, no… Today, I found out that he had made a scene at the top management. He had been unreasonable and was threatening them. Now, the company is considering taking disciplinary action against him. (Please don’t make any conclusions about the company just based on this, because I’ve omitted other irrelevant details.)
There was a brief victorious feeling for 5s. The feeling was quickly replaced by the enlightenment that we would all face retribution eventually. It was a cynical feeling.
Unfortunately, I have yet to receive enlightenment on positive returns.
I was scolded “dog blood dripping” by this driver over the phone 2 months back. It was the type of scolding which got one all frustrated, because there was nothing one could reply as there was no logic in his words. I felt like strangling someone after that.
However, I remembered this paragraph from a book TE gave me. It said not to sweat the small stuff, because it wasn’t worthed it, and how I don’t need to be the person to mete out the retribution.
So, the next day, someone from another department came down and looked for me. Apparently, they had returned call to the driver regarding the same issue and he had admitted being very harsh with me. The lady came down to asked me about the call and explained that the driver was just shocked over the money issues, thus the insolence. I didn’t think much about the whole incident and thought that was the end of the issue.
As you might have guessed, no… Today, I found out that he had made a scene at the top management. He had been unreasonable and was threatening them. Now, the company is considering taking disciplinary action against him. (Please don’t make any conclusions about the company just based on this, because I’ve omitted other irrelevant details.)
There was a brief victorious feeling for 5s. The feeling was quickly replaced by the enlightenment that we would all face retribution eventually. It was a cynical feeling.
Unfortunately, I have yet to receive enlightenment on positive returns.
08 May 2006
Wasted day
We had a precious afternoon and night together on Sat but guess what?
The entire Singapore decided that town was a perfect hang out day.
MI 3 sold out everywhere.
It rained the moment we reached Esplanade.
Changi Airport has become the new ubercool family hangout spot. (Since WHEN?!?!?)
Results --- A full day of walking around doing nothing.
Not saying that I’ve wasted my time with him. As long as we spend time together, it’s never a wasted day. More of saying that we have wasted a rare day: it’s practically impossible to get him for more than 5 hr in a stretchL.
And to wrap things up: a disappointing dinner. Supposed to be Beef rivoli in Cream sauce, but the sauce turned out to be grainy, the beef stuffing tasted weird, the pasta wasn’t al-dente and his pasta was tempting me the entire meal.
Thank goodness for the chocolate after that.
The entire Singapore decided that town was a perfect hang out day.
MI 3 sold out everywhere.
It rained the moment we reached Esplanade.
Changi Airport has become the new ubercool family hangout spot. (Since WHEN?!?!?)
Results --- A full day of walking around doing nothing.
Not saying that I’ve wasted my time with him. As long as we spend time together, it’s never a wasted day. More of saying that we have wasted a rare day: it’s practically impossible to get him for more than 5 hr in a stretchL.
And to wrap things up: a disappointing dinner. Supposed to be Beef rivoli in Cream sauce, but the sauce turned out to be grainy, the beef stuffing tasted weird, the pasta wasn’t al-dente and his pasta was tempting me the entire meal.
Thank goodness for the chocolate after that.
01 May 2006
Freed!
Had dinner with the ruggers. Huimin made a memorial CD for each of us, which contains a ppt on us.
As I watch the ppt, I could not help but realise that I have been so caught up in my own problems that I have looked at my team mates through tinted glasses. I was burnt out by Feb last year and got stressed out over the injuries and insomnia. And throughout the entire March to June season, all I can think about is the end of it all. I’ve lived the 4 months shabbily, trying to accelerate my life through that difficult period which I have created in my mind.
And throughout those 4 months, the fatigue and problems bog me down such that I’ve associated most of team mates with the frustration. (Not to mention that my classmates bore most of the brunt, since they were the ones which I hung out with the most in NJ. I can still rmb the numerous times when I’ve snapped at the bio class ppl.)
I knew it from beginning that it was my perception that had to change but acknowledging the problem doesn’t mean solving the problem. It’s only now that I’ve truly seen through the barrier I’ve created and come to my senses.
In fact, I watched the ppt a second time, after this new found freedom (the word freedom is used here because I feel as if I’ve been liberated from network of negative feelings). The things I looked out for were different, the feelings evoked were different, the reaction was different.
Hmmm… I really wonder whether this entry makes sense. Nevertheless, I gotta thank you, Huimin for unwittingly helping me to come to this conclusion.
As I watch the ppt, I could not help but realise that I have been so caught up in my own problems that I have looked at my team mates through tinted glasses. I was burnt out by Feb last year and got stressed out over the injuries and insomnia. And throughout the entire March to June season, all I can think about is the end of it all. I’ve lived the 4 months shabbily, trying to accelerate my life through that difficult period which I have created in my mind.
And throughout those 4 months, the fatigue and problems bog me down such that I’ve associated most of team mates with the frustration. (Not to mention that my classmates bore most of the brunt, since they were the ones which I hung out with the most in NJ. I can still rmb the numerous times when I’ve snapped at the bio class ppl.)
I knew it from beginning that it was my perception that had to change but acknowledging the problem doesn’t mean solving the problem. It’s only now that I’ve truly seen through the barrier I’ve created and come to my senses.
In fact, I watched the ppt a second time, after this new found freedom (the word freedom is used here because I feel as if I’ve been liberated from network of negative feelings). The things I looked out for were different, the feelings evoked were different, the reaction was different.
Hmmm… I really wonder whether this entry makes sense. Nevertheless, I gotta thank you, Huimin for unwittingly helping me to come to this conclusion.
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